humps

For the last 2 months or so I haven't been in much of a mood for anything. Which would suprise people given the energy I've invested into cramming every little bit of free sched with things to do. I lived in mortal dread and fear of being alone and *gulp* thinking. Whatever down time I had I spent in bed, dreamless and unconscious.

Thus my grand plans of making this a fabulous website was put on hold. Pictures of things I've done and places I've been are still tucked away inside my memory card. Half-written entries are in my draft folder. And til now no one knows this site exists (except Kris. Hi Kris!)

Then finally, one night, lady inspiration hits me. And I started to care about this poor neglected space of the web. I decided it was time to make her pretty. Give her a little character. Make her easy to navigate and attractive to behold.

So I started downloading free blogger templates and tried uploading them for my site. Epic fail. Apparently, it is not as simple as copy-paste-upload. Font sizes change, links are different and I don't know how to use/get rid of/re-label some of the pretty things on the templates I like.

Boo.

Darn you lack-of-html-knowledge! You've foiled me again!!!

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physical touch

I consider myself a reasonably eloquent person. I am proud of the fact that I have the gift of being able to express my thoughts and ideas in a way that is easily understood. I can use deep and profound words if I wanted to. But most of the time, I can explain it to you as though you were a 5-year old.

But sometimes, for some things, there are no words.

I feel as profoundly as I think and as I speak. And feelings are far more complicated and far more complex than the vocabulary I carry. So even though I try, even though I reach deep into my brain, tapping into the two languages I know to find the words to express the strength of my emotions, words will fail me.

When that happens, the only thing left is to communicate to you thru action. So I reach out to hug you. My hope is that in this gesture, your heart understands what is in mine. That somehow, some way, you hear what I cannot say and you receive what I am trying to give.

And when even that fails, know that in my silence, I have prayed for you.

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blank blogs

What makes a great blog?


Some people have this gift of writing about places, activities or things that make you wish you had been there, done it or seen it yourself. Some people have lives interesting enough that you could read their life entries and feel like you're sharing a part of who they are. Some people have blogs with themes, dedicated to that one or few things they're passionate and an expert about.


Then there are people like me.


I write without a theme and about the intangible. Which, I suppose, makes my blog boring as hell to read.

But then it's not like anyone reads this blog anyway.

Eh di quits lang.

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Life according to Peanuts

I love Peanuts.

They were a comic staple in the newspapers my father subscribed to as a child. So growing up I was familiar with the world's smartest beagle and his perfectly-round-headed owner. Even then, with such meager exposure, I appreciated the quirkiness of Charlie Brown's world.

But during one summer spent with at my cousins I found myself with access to an extensive library of all things Peanuts. Now I didn't have to wait til the next day to see them. I was getting my fix via booklets and compilations. I started usings expressions like "Good grief", began describing myself as "crabby" and followed the (mis)adventures of the Red Baron.

These were characters that were lovable yet flawed. They weren't just amusing, they were snippets of humanity in its purest form. Linus in his existential wisdom, Lucy in her self-centeredness, Schroeder in his single-minded devotion and Charlie Brown in his eternal hopefullness in the face of adversity.

There was always a truth told within those 4 drawn boxes. Truth that was simple, yet enduring. I have often used a strip to illustrate how I was feeling. Once again, Peanuts doesn't fail me.

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think less, be more

I was on a trip last week and I found myself surrounded by colleagues who kept discovering great finds while we were doing our regular trade visits. By day 2, pots and pans (on sale!) have been bought, new and interesting skin and hair care products were being tried and there I was, still picking up the same item at each store and still mentally debating if I should make the purchase.

My colleagues said I had great self control. No, this wasn't self control. This was me being boring.

For months I had been told I should wear skinny jeans because I had the right build for it. I was adamant that skinny jeans belonged in the 80's, along with the shoulder pads and the teased hair. 2 weeks ago, a friend finally got me to try one on.

Damn it, it did look good.

So as I stood there holding the same bottle of body wash for the nth time I had my eureka moment. My 2011 was going to have a theme: EXPLORATION. It's time to start saying a little less "no" and a little more "maybe". 

I came home from the trip with a new bottle of hair treatment cream, body oil and the body wash. Put that together with the new pair skinny jeans I bought and I'd say I'm off to a good start.

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Here we go!

I don't remember blogging being so complicated.

4 years ago, when I first joined the blogosphere, I simply named my site, chose the design I liked then started typing away. I don't remember worrying about gadgets, or colors, or layout. Now, for some reason, all that's important to me.

Which is funny considering I've told no one (ok.. maybe  2 people, 3 at most) that I've decided to start blogging again. This page can look like crap and no one would really care.

So why am I even doing this? I'm not really sure. I imagine it must take some form of deep narcissism to start a blog when you're as regular and un-famous as I am. It must be delusion that makes us think that what we write about and think about is interesting enough for the world to want to read. And let's face it. Those would actually be interested, I probably see enough on a regular basis that I can share it with them directly.

But I blog anyway.

Call it narcissism, call it delusion.

I prefer to refer to it as therapy.

Blog on.

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